If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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