Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
