I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
