The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
