He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
