I accidentally burped into my bong.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
