Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
