its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
