so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
