I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
