I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
