when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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