suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
