Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
