omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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