No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
