What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
