I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
