That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
