Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
