We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
