Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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