I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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