As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
