porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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