She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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