you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
