i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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