Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
