sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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