yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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