i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
