and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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