one might say we're banned from that church
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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