talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
