It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
