how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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