so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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