i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
