Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
