its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
