Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
