the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
