He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Damn victory sex feels great
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
