Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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