you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
