This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
