Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
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