new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
