I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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